Twice.. In a Lifetime

PREFACE

Love is one of those things in life that has confused the most brilliant minds in this world. It is undoubtedly the most cosmic phenomenon known to man. There are so many glimpses in history to prove that if anything can make a living soul act in a complete irrational way, it is love. I have never believed in love at first sight, though I should admit that physical attraction at first sight is a more acceptable truth. After all, no matter how evolved or civilised we may call our self, we still have the basic animal instincts. But when we bypass the physical beauty and start to see the real beauty beneath it, the feeling is hard to pen. Then attraction gives way to affection and a feeling of caring.




Many a times I find it really amusing, or rather strange I should say, when people talk about finding that someone special. Especially, since I considered myself a zealot of love thorough out my life. My amusement was not about finding that someone special. Isn’t it possible that we might find that someone special … more than once.



Andrew Pritchard was just out of university and had been inducted into a reputed construction firm in London. He had moved from his lovely village, Aviemore, in Scotland. He found that the English spoke English in a rather strange way. He was one among a group of bright fresh graduates chosen from all over the country to join the company as trainee engineers. It was an opportunity he was waiting for quite long time. In fact he was desperate for it. The prime reason being Elizabeth Miller, his girl friend for 10 years. Andrew and Liz, as he calls her, have been with each other even before Madonna was a virgin. They lived for each other. Andrew never had any other ambition in his life other than Liz, all the other decisions in his life was taken for this ultimate goal. He went away to study in York, as a degree from a reputed university is not something that everyone had. He returned from York only with a diploma as he failed his final dissertation, thanks to his senior professor in-charge. He was not sad of losing a degree. He was only worried if he would lose Liz if he could not secure a job. Liz’s father approved of Andrew but would not agree to the wedding unless Andrew had a reputed employer to boast of. He thought of all this as he was being introduced to the top management of the company. All he wanted to do was get over with his apprenticeship and marry Liz.



The group was a mixture of males and females. Evenly balanced. In the batch was another fresh graduate from Preston, her name was Anoushka Nayar. An Indian by origin but her parents were doctors in Edinburgh for the past 14 years. Every one called her Nush, Attractive enough for any average guy. She was not one bit a cynosure who would skip a heart beat in any specimen of the opposite sex. At least that is what Andrew’s first impressions were. Their Scottish roots did give them enough reasons to talk to each other. Over the next 4 months they did see much of each other but it was not something one would call quality time. They met in the office and occasionally while travelling to Edinburgh. These journeys brought them closer to each other and they became close friends. It wasn’t soon before they started going out together in groups and later just as a pair, especially on weekends they didn’t travel to Edinburgh. They went on sight seeing trips of London, but in fact they were seeing more of each other.



As good friends Andrew had mention Liz more than once to Nush. She was very interested and was awed by his dedication, zeal and love for Liz. She once even quipped she would love to have someone like him in her life too; Andrew didn’t take too long to offer he could do just that for her. From then on it was more than just friendship.



Andrew and Nush always travelled together to Edinburgh. They always sat together, very often in a near empty carriage. Andrew wanted to spend more time with Nush; he cursed whoever invented fast trains as he longed for a longer journey. He hated it when Nush got off at Edinburgh and he had to continue his journey to Aviemore. Only thing he wasn’t aware of was that the feeling was mutual. They didn’t realise for the entire journey they had never let go of each others hands. They found more pleasure in whispering things into each other ears, rather than just talk. Nush was sure Andrew would never leave Liz for her, and Andrew knew he could never thing anyone other than Liz as his wife. But still they were falling in love with each other.



One evening after work Andrew took Nush for a walk in London’s Hyde Park. They spent so much time just lying down and chatting about many things. Both wanted to know each others likes and dislikes, as if they were preparing for a life together. Andrew felt he had conquered the world when he realised Nush was lying down with her head on his chest, hugging him tight as if she never wanted to let him go. Soon it was dark and they still didn’t want to leave.



Nush looked up to the sky and said “Andrew, I always has fascination for stars. As a kid I wanted to collect stars to decorate my room. Have you ever imagined how many stars might be there in the sky? Aren’t they beautiful?”


Andrew pulled Nush closer to him, looked straight into her deep dark eyes and said “I can’t see any stars in the sky, I can only see is beautiful little star in my arms and I too wish I could collect it to decorate my life”.



A tear dropped from Nush’s eyes as she smiled. Nush held Andrew’s face in her hands and kissed him on his lips. For him it was short of a catharsis. Andrew could only wish the world would freeze over for ever at this moment.



The following week started with great news. Andrew was selected along with 4 trainees to go to Malaysia for the company’s new assignment. This was a one month long on site training not everyone gets. Andrew called Liz and told her about the news. He was ecstatic that this would fetch him the finances required to plan their wedding. Liz could hardly sleep after this. She had picked up a very common disorder called the pre-marital syndrome, more commonly known as day dreaming.



Nush was very happy for this great achievement Andrew had made, but she was not sure if she could cope without him in the office. Andrew too was upset. He even asked Nush would she miss him. For some reason Nush decided to lie. She said she wouldn’t. She didn’t want to get close to him, as she was sure she would loose him very soon. Her answer made Andrew feel as if he was marooned in a lonely desert.



He had a heavy heart and a smile eluded his normally cheerful face. Nush was aware of his feelings as it was no different from what she was going through. They both entered the office elevator together, alone. As the door closed they looked at each other.



She broke into tears and said “What have you done to me?”

Andrew said “I just wanted to know if you would miss me”.

Nush hugged Andrew and said “I will miss you for the rest of my life”.



Malaysia is country with a high momentum. It was becoming the tourist and business capital of South East Asia. Andrew arrived at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport on a fine morning. He travelled by rail to Seremban, in North Malaysia, which was his project site. The first thing he did after reaching Malaysia was to call Liz and inform her of his safe arrival. He walked out of his hotel room but walked back in and called Nush. It skipped his mind that the phone didn’t ring more than once. They both talked for some time. He called Nush everyday he was in Malaysia. She did restrict him from spending so much money, but it was not a strong request so Andrew didn’t obey. He would regularly ask her what she would like him to bring for her, when he returns.



She maintained a consistent reply for that “Just come back soon safe... for me”.


But Andrew decided he wanted to buy something for Nush. He would window shop on all evenings and weekends for a gift for her. Finally he brought her a necklace and a pair of ear-rings from an antique shop specialising in ancient jewellery. He picked up an ancient Indian piece.



He was delighted to be back in London after a month away from home, away from Nush. He arrived on a Friday. The office was closed on weekends. He called up Nush and arranged to pick her up from her house. He was not sure if it was just a feeling, but she looked like a fresh half open bud of red rose. They went out for a meal and then drove to Hyde Park. They sat under the same tree where she had first kissed him. Many more kisses, many more hugs. It was not easy to keep track of numbers anymore. But each kiss had an improved fragrance of love; each hug had increased warmth of caring and the power of being wanted.


He gave her the gift he had brought her. She was delighted, but asked him why he has spent some much money for her.



He just replied “I have a new hobby of decorating angels, and I didn’t want to miss a chance to decorate the queen of angels”.


“What would you do after you have married Liz? Would you still decorate me?” asked Nush.


Andrew didn’t have an answer to that. Gathering all his strength he asked her “If things were as normal, if I were free, would you have married me”.



She just smiled in return. He couldn’t repeat the question. He was lost in her bewitching smile.



Andrew decided to get married to Liz in 3 months time. Nush was happy to hear it, but Andrew was not happy telling her about it. All his life he wanted to marry Liz and now when the time had come for him to marry her, he wished he had more time.



Why – it was beyond logical reasoning.



Nush teased him about what he would do after he got married, would he still love her, would she still be his little star, would she still be the queen of angels.



She could not continue because she saw a tear roll down Andrew’s cheeks and end on his lips. She held his hand and stopped him. They were both standing in the centre of Paddington station swarming with people but they had all the privacy in the world. They were unaware of the thousands of commuters passing them. They stood there looking each other in the eyes. Their vision blurred by the tears in their eyes.



Andrew asked her “Why didn’t I find you earlier, why did you come to me now?”

Her reply was lost in her silent cry “Well then find me early in your next life”.



Nush came to Andrew’s to desk the next morning and told she wanted to go out for dinner with him. She had a surprise for him. They went to “The Queens Head”. Andrew was eager to know what she had to say.



Nush asked him “Can you guess what it is?”

Andrew mocked “What is it, are you getting married or something?”

She said “Yes, I am”.



Andrew didn’t know if he wanted to smile or cry, he was not sure if he was happy or was upset.


He said “But how is that possible, you never told me you had a boyfriend”.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, it is an arranged marriage”.



Nush explained to him the traditional Indian way of the parents finding a life partner for their children. Andrew took time to understand what was being said. His thoughts were full of fear of loosing Nush.



“So who is the lucky guy?” asked Andrew.



Andrew was not really interested in knowing who was going to marry her. In fact, all he knew was it wasn’t him. They were not looking at each other.



“He is a Doctor in India, a family friend” Nush said.

Andrew tried to laugh “Is he tall and handsome?”

Nush looked straight into eyes and said “I am getting engaged next week and married the week after, this is my last week in the company... my last week with you”.



She picked up her bag and walked out of the pub. Andrew didn’t eat the dinner and left an hour later.



Nush called him late at night.



“Didn’t you sleep” She enquired.

“No, I can’t” he replied.

“I’m sorry for leaving the pub tonight; if I stayed any longer I would have wept”. She said

“Do you love me Nush” Andrew asked. “Can you say that to me once, just once?”



“Yes Andrew, I love you!! I wish you were mine for ever. I wish you had found me earlier and then I wouldn’t have let you go until my last breath.” Nush was almost in tears when she said that.



“I promise you, if I am born again I will come looking for you and would never let you go”.



Now Nush could not control her tears “Will you forget me Andrew”?



“I might not think of you everyday, but I promise you when the moment I die arrives… I will have your face in my heart; I will have your name on my lips”.



Andrew attended her wedding. He met her family and met her husband. He noticed among all the jewellery she had worn, the gift he had brought her from Malaysia was standing apart. She had worn it in such a way that it was the first thing everyone noticed.



He wished good luck to both of them and prayed for a happy marriage. He walked out of the banquet hall and turned one last time towards the stage.



She was looking at him.

For one last time they looked at each other from a distance.

Their lips smiled, their hearts wept.



Andrew boarded the next train to London. He sat in an almost empty carriage. But this time the seat next to him was also empty. He reached London late in the evening. He walked to Hyde Park. He sat under the tree where he used to sit with Nush. He could not cope with cosmic irony that had just happened in his life. God looked to him like an antihero or as someone with a cruel sense of humour.



He looked at the stars but he could not still admire them. He could now at least see them as his little star was not in his arms anymore.



- The Scribbler